Sweet Jesus, Why?: A Brief Prinny Review

Have you done something horrible in your life that you would like to atone for?  Do you enjoy being beaten around by little schoolgirls in fox costumes (ewwwwww)?  Do you own a PSP?  If you answered “yes” to at least two of those three questions, I have a perfect game for you. 

I really thought that I would like Prinny: Can I Really Be The Hero?.  I like platformers, and I like watching things explode.  I particularly like being able to punish my on-screen proxy when he/she/it does something wrong (because clearly, it couldn’t be MY fault).  So, exploding penguins gathering dessert ingredients seemed like a natural fit.  However, I guess I should have taken into account that when a game provides you with a thousand lives for six levels, the result is likely going to be punishingly difficult.  I would not have been incorrect had I done so.

Prinny starts out okay.  You are one of a thousand penguin-like critters that are actually souls of the damned, trapped in these bodies to atone in hell for the crimes they committed in life.  Also, they explode.  Demon Lord Etna is rather a spoiled little bitch, and when her sweets go missing, she sends out one of these doods (and you WILL get very, very tired of hearing that word), armed with a magical, anti-explodey scarf, to get her her sugar fix.  You can choose from two difficulties, the lesser of which kills your Prinny after three hits, and the greater of which drops the little bugger after only one.

I made it through the tutorial and the first level without much of a problem; the game was tricky, but in a good way.  I was enjoying it up to that point.  Then, I hit the second level (it should be noted that you can choose the order of your levels, but they are each assigned a difficulty from the beginning, which goes up as the day goes on).  As one might expect, it was tougher, but still in a fun way… until I got to the boss.  Twenty-six Prinnies and a lot of profanity later, I finally had success.  By this time, I was beginning to think that perhaps this game would be a bit much for me, but I decided to keep going.  The third level upped my ire yet again, but I eventually pushed on through to the boss, which is where my adventure, sadly, came to an end.  I remember a time when I used to throw controllers when I got mad at a game.  I stopped doing that when controllers became too damn expensive to replace every time I had a temper tantrum, but I swear that I almost lost a PSP today.  I was somewhere near a hundred Prinnies lost when I finally gave up and decided that I’ll be playing something with actual enjoyment potential from now on.

I’m not saying that Prinny is a bad game, I’m just saying that it’s not for everyone.  It’s not even for most people.  If you are one of those folks who believe that games are too “soft” nowadays and yearn for a simpler time, when 8-bit graphics reigned and you had the patience and determination for games that only the very young can display, then Prinny could very well be the game for you.  If, however, you aren’t insane, masochistic, or a Furry, then it might be best to steer clear of this one.  I think I’m running away and back to my DS for a while, though.